Horoscope

Medteck Horoscope #1-By Alim Zaib

Aquarius

January 21-February 19

This month you’ll be feeling kind of sick and will just shrug it off, this will result in you getting a very serious disease so this month take a Tylenol cold pill every night and you’ll feel better, and if your doctor recommends any other medicine listen to them but take this medicine too.

Pisces
February 20-March 20

This month you will feel very ashamed of your body because you’re too fat, short, tall etc… and you will want to get surgery done to make your body look better. DON’T you’re already as perfect as you’re going to be and if you do decide to get surgery don’t expect any more luck in the future.

Aries

March 21-April 20

This Month you are going to feel the need to eat more than usual and this may be a cause of 2 things either depression or being very ecstatic for something coming the next month. You will stock up on junk food and will gain a few pounds and you must exercise daily to keep your body healthy as well.

Taurus

April 21-May 20

You will not get many intruders into your life and will lead a very healthy lifestyle this month and will overcome any sicknesses that affect you very quickly. Keep up the good work!

Gemini

May 21-June 21

Geminis living in North America will find great joy if they are becoming a doctor graduating this year and will have no problem finding the perfect job for them all thanks to a friend or relative that knows a lot about medicine. All of the other careers will do fine but the medical practitioners are the ones that really stand out.

Cancer

June 22-July 23

This month is the worst month for your history. The amount of people born in June 22-July 23 will be very substantially decreased and the rate of cancer will skyrocket all the way to 15% but don’t worry as long as you don’t do anything that you feel is dangerous you should be fine.

Leo

July 24-August 23

This month your mental stability will skyrocket you will no longer feel nervous to speak in front of an audience and will develop a talent at persuasion of people in authority and speaking privately to someone. Mentally you will become smarter and react faster but your physical body will slowly decay.

Virgo

August 24-September 23

This month is a tragic month with many deaths and heart surgery patients, the people in the Virgo constellation will slowly become more and more unhealthy and more leaning towards all artificial products used instead of natural.

Libra

This month is no different than any others except that one group of Libras will invent a robot that can on its own perform a heart transplant and these people will be a very rich people but will donate all of the money to the jump rope for heart society to minimize heart diseases.

Scorpio

This is a good month for all scorpios because the health you will have is very good as long as you never eat a single potato chip this month. Also if you do eat a potato chip you will become more overweight until you are seen as obese.

Saggitarius

You will be in terrible shape this month physically and mentally so try to avoid eating any unhealthy things and if you survive this month you will see much better days later in your life and will hopefully think that it was worth it.

Capricorn

This month you will have a lot of pain inflicted on you physically and mentally and will just shrug it off but secretly it really hurts you. Keep shrugging off the pain and try to not let it hurt you and if it does don’t tell anybody else because then your social status will be ruined and you may get insulted even more.

MedTeck Horoscope #2-By Surya Krishnan

Aries (March 21-April 20)

Get ready for an injury soon. Keeping a pack of medical items such as a Band-Aid to help you in times of injury will come handy soon. Stay alert and you may just avoid getting an injury.

Taurus (April 21-May 21)

You will encounter a certain mild disease soon. Be cautious on the environments you encounter, as they may carry one or two disease strains that can affect you. You may also find out if you have a certain allergy, or you may have an allergic reaction soon.

Gemini (May 22-June 21)

Get ready to get fit soon. You will feel energetic and slightly hyper also. Think of certain activities that you know will take that extra energy off you, and give those activities a shot. You may also come out with a healthier body!

Cancer (June 22-July 21)

Have you ever aspired having a job as a doctor? Well, soon enough, you will achieve some sort of work that will help you become the type of doctor you would like to be. Work hard on those dreams, and soon those dreams will become reality!

Leo (July 22-August 23)

You will feel dissatisfied with your body this month. Try to avoid unhealthy foods this month, as they may cause a quick addiction to fat foods soon. Monitor what you eat.

Virgo (August 24- September 23)

Being nice to people will inflict a good amount of positive energy into your system. Be happy with others during the next month, and get ready to experience a huge amount of positive energy flow into you, and you will feel and look more healthy.

Libra (September 24-October 23)

Though you may feel energetic, your body shows not. Try to fight the urge to be OVERLY active during this month, as you may get very exhausted after, giving you tiredness during the next month.

Scorpio (October 24-November 22)

You will need to speed yourself up soon. You act overly slow and not at your usual pace, so pick up the pace to stay active this month!

Sagittarius (November 23-December 21)

You will feel like you are very sick, though you aren’t this month. Try to divert yourself this month by doing things you like so you don’t think about the sick feeling you are having.

Capricorn (December 22-January 20)

You will go through some rough times during this month, and an enormous amount of negative energy will be released into you. Try to not let the negative energy take you away, and try to do several active exercises to create positive energy that can overtake the negatives.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19)

As your name states, you have something to do with water. Try to do activities inside water and drink a lot of water this month, and you will get a huge boost on your health!

Pisces (February 20-March 20)

You have the potential to create something amazing in the field of medical technology. It could be anything! Just conduct some research around your future invention or discovery, and with enough of perseverance, something amazing will be created by you!